jmatonak

Merry Christmas!

If you'd prefer a different expression of goodwill, such as "Happy Hanukkah" or "Joyous Yule", please consider the above to incorporate that. I say "Merry Christmas" because I'm into the whole Christmas thing. (For two days a year. It gets old fast, yo.) I don't assume you are.

If you're not into the whole Christmas thing, well, you have that in common with the Puritans and the "Framers" of the Constitution. All the people who assume "this is a Christian nation" and so forth usually get this one wrong wrong wrong. The Puritans hated Christmas because it was a party, and the Framers disdained it because it was English. (As with most sweeping statements of this kind, there are some nuances I am eliding. In my case, it's because I'm trying to be funny.) Christmas was first proclaimed a national holiday after the Civil War.

Don't ask me why veneration is sometimes offered to "the baby Jesus" as though the baby version is a different person than the adult version. I have never managed to puzzle that one out.

This is from The Onion. As usual, it's completely made up and yet surprisingly accurate.