Daydream Believer
Jan. 20th, 2007 04:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jmatonakReuters tells me that the "default setting" of the human brain is daydreaming. It turns out later that people "aren't really having fanciful thoughts" but are thinking in a non-focused way about things they have to do later, much of the time. So I personally think "daydreaming" may be a misnomer.
I'm told I'm going through a midlife crisis. While I am technically in mid-life, I also remember feeling like this in my teens, and for a little bit of my twenties. It is beginning to appear that the "default setting" of my life is to be sad, ranging from mildly sad to acutely sad. Which is kind of a shame, as I don't like being sad. I miss being happy.
Being too tired to rebel is not a familiar sensation.
I started this journal at what may have been the happiest time of my life. Things started to go south fairly quickly, but a couple of months there were really good. I feel a certain nostalgia for that time, but I don't think I could repeat it. For one thing, I don't believe I could feel the same enthusiasm for academic work. This kind of nostalgia is, I think, why people say things like you're only young once. But I was something like thirty-two then, which is younger than some but not so young as others. It seems to me that, basically, anything I could do in my early thirties I could do in my late thirties.
I don't think it's impossible for me to be in a happy time of my life again, but it doesn't seem very likely to happen on its own, and I'm not sure what I can do to make it happen. It seems that, for now, I have to wait and hope. Hope is difficult.
I'm told I'm going through a midlife crisis. While I am technically in mid-life, I also remember feeling like this in my teens, and for a little bit of my twenties. It is beginning to appear that the "default setting" of my life is to be sad, ranging from mildly sad to acutely sad. Which is kind of a shame, as I don't like being sad. I miss being happy.
Being too tired to rebel is not a familiar sensation.
I started this journal at what may have been the happiest time of my life. Things started to go south fairly quickly, but a couple of months there were really good. I feel a certain nostalgia for that time, but I don't think I could repeat it. For one thing, I don't believe I could feel the same enthusiasm for academic work. This kind of nostalgia is, I think, why people say things like you're only young once. But I was something like thirty-two then, which is younger than some but not so young as others. It seems to me that, basically, anything I could do in my early thirties I could do in my late thirties.
I don't think it's impossible for me to be in a happy time of my life again, but it doesn't seem very likely to happen on its own, and I'm not sure what I can do to make it happen. It seems that, for now, I have to wait and hope. Hope is difficult.
