Only Connect

I was talking to someone who I guess is now an ex-friend a while back. I mentioned that I always feel a little guilty and uncomfortable about talking to strangers in public places, especially women. I would like to think I know better than to pester anyone who clearly doesn't want to talk to me, although there are exceptions- if I had a massive head wound I would be fairly insistent about getting a lift to the hospital for as long as I remained conscious. But even if the social interaction is well within the bounds of politeness, I always feel bad about it. And my friend said something that really knocked me out. She said, "Well, maybe you should feel guilty."

This was clearly not something I expected to hear. My friend was not willing to elucidate her thought processes further, and I was confused. Because I understand a feeling of guilt and shame about doing something rude, but I also believe that talking to someone in a public place is not, in and of itself, rude. I also feel kind of placed in a bind. I don't get asked out very often- maybe one time in the last twenty years, actually. So if I am going to socialize in a boy-girl sense, it appears that I have to be the one asking. But if asking someone out is something I *should* feel guilty about- if it really is a bad thing- then maybe I shouldn't do it at all. Which would be fine if I were temperamentally suited to be solitary. But I don't think I am. So this is kind of a problem.

I hate playing games in which there is literally no way to win. My natural inclination in that situation is to resign. So I guess we'll see.