Things I Learned At the Optometrist

(Boy... I may have to start a separate journal just so scans_daily lets go of my friends page. Some of the stuff on that comm is fun, but Jeezis. This I learned this morning, not at the optometrist.)

Getting your eyes dilated can make the urge to read extremely acute.

For some psycho-sexual reason I decline to examine further, I really prefer dealing with female doctors.

When you're having your eyes examined, and the doctor is telling you things like "look at my finger... now look to your left", it can start to sound like a cheesy attempt at hypnosis from an old movie.

No matter how much I believe my optometrist is not about to poke me in the eye, I always flinch away. I am a "squeezer"- I reflexively squeeze my eyes shut really, really tight when something is going in them. Which can be a pain in the ass with eye drops, for example.

Not having insurance is bad, but could be a lot worse.

This is why people say those things about Massachusetts.

Read this link:

Bomb scare in Boston

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Did you read it?

1. How stupid are commuters in Boston? Who the hell mistakes a light board for a bomb?
2. How stupid are cops in Boston? "Excuse me, sir, but that's a light board."
3. Even if you don't know the character depicted (and I know the character but I'm not sure how to spell his name) what you are looking at is obviously a Space Invader type character. It's a cartoon. It is also DESIGNED TO CATCH THE ATTENTION OF COMMUTERS. What's the thought process here? "I will cleverly draw attention to my bomb, thus enabling authorities to find it before it detonates!"
4. I can't wait until someone puts up a Hello Kitty billboard in Boston and incapacitates the entire town again. "A cartoon cat with no mouth! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!"
5. As mentioned in this article, the light boards have been up in nine other cities for weeks. The next time some citizen of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts starts ranting at me about how stupid Californians are, I believe I'll remind them that in San Francisco we know our ass from a light board.

God damn. A moment's thought every so often, people, that's all I ask.

Of course, someone is going to have their nuts torn off over this. And it won't be the idiot commuters or idiot law enforcement people who spun this into a major bomb scare. It'll be some guy at some ad agency who figured, incorrectly, that it takes more than outdoor advertising to bring a major American city to its knees.

Aargh.

(no subject)

Aw, hell.

Molly Ivins died.